I AM RESOLVED

Did you know that at the start of each new year there is a dramatic increase in gym memberships, the purchase of dietary aides and enrollment in financial planning courses. This phenomenon is driven by our tradition of making New Year's Resolutions. This year I am going to lose those 10 lbs., or quit smoking, or start a savings program.

New Year's Resolutions can be a blessing to our life, if for no other reason than it causes us to reflect on areas that need improvement. Few of us succeed in meeting all of our goals for the new year, but we shouldn't get discouraged. If you are starting to consider some changes you want to make for 2008, here are a few suggestions designed to help.

1. Pray daily about your goals. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above..." (James 1:17). David reminds us, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4). What a difference it makes when we include God in the equation.

2. Set realistic, achievable goals. Rather than setting a goal of losing 25 lbs., set a goal to lose 2 lbs. a month. There is real power in small successes. Achieving a series of small goals gives you the confidence you need to take on bigger challenges. Jesus tells us that when we are faithful over few things, he will make us a master over many things (Matthew 25:14-30).

3. Find an accountability partner. Through the years I have been on again, off again in keeping a workout schedule at the gym. There was one year however when I consistently made it to they gym 3 to 4 times every week. That was the year I had a workout partner. If I decided to sleep in, or skip my workout, I knew that Alan would hold me accountable. The same is true of the two years I spent in a men's study. There were 11 other men holding me accountable for my bible study, memory work and my Christian walk.

I pray that God blesses you in your efforts in 2008. Always remember that "HE is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20).

God, help me to remember

Are you a list maker? You know, one of those people who writes everything down so you won't forget. I keep a running list on my fridge of the groceries I need to buy, a calendar on my computer to help me remember appointments and sometimes I even carry a small tape recorder in my car so I won't forget that brilliant idea that came to me while driving down the interstate.

God recognized that man needs help remembering. He instituted the feast of the Passover to remind his people of their deliverance from bondage and captivity and He had them set up 12 stones at Gilgal as they crossed over into Caanan. In the New Testament Jesus provided us the Lord's Supper as a memorial of his death, burial and resurrection, but even with all of this sometimes we still forget.

Sunday morning as I sat in worship I was reminded again concerning the grace of giving. In this simple act God has called us to be like Him "every good and perfect gift comes down from the father of lights". I have heard dozens of lessons on giving and even taught a few in my day, but it struck me just how quickly we forget.

Throughout this day I have thought and prayed, "God, help me to remember." I wasn't just referring to the grace of giving, but to the importance of all the important things that are often neglected in our christian walk. God, help me to remember . . .

To pray
To give
To treat others with love and respect
To surrender my selfish pride
To humble myself in service
To cast off every sin and the burdens that weigh me down

and the list goes on and on. There is so much to remember and so often I forget.

"Father, as I turn this new day over to you help me to remember and forgive me when I forget. Allow me to cast my cares upon you and to guard my heart from sin. Help me to make my heart a dwelling place for your Spirit and my life a spiritual worship unto you. So often I have forgotten, but for today God, help me to remember."

Love One Another

I will never forget driving up to the church one evening and William (not his real name), was sitting on the steps just waiting for someone to show up and let him in. Will grew up in the worst kind of social squaller. He was the product of a broken home and his mother would bring men into the house and engage in behavior that no child should ever have to see.

One day members of the local church were canvassing the neighborhood and signed Will up to ride the "Joy Bus." It was the day that changed his life forever. He only lived a few blocks away, so he rarely waited for the bus to show up at his house. More often than not he was at the church ready to ride along and help out where he could. He attended every service, never missed a youth event, and pretty soon was leading prayers and giving short Bible talks.

I left for college and often wondered what happend to Will, at least until that cool December morning in Plymouth, MI. I remember a tall strapping young man in uniform walked in with his wife at his side and small child in tow. Will was serving with distinction in the U.S. Army, had married a Christian girl and was active in the local church.

How does a young man from such a troubled background grow to become a pillar in the local church? It was the result of a loving family. No, not his biological family, but his spiritual family. I have often subscribed to the belief that we can make a lot of mistakes in life, as long as we love one another, for "love covers a multitude of sin."

A Touch of Wonder

Arthur C. Gordon wrote this inspiring litte book entitled, "A Touch of Wonder." It is simply a series of short stories and applications that he has drawn from his own experiences of life. I have read the book a number of times and given it as a gift more than once.

I think the reason I am drawn to Gordon's book is that it is relevant to everyone. As we read his stories we are reminded of the fenceposts we have passed in our own life.

Over the years I have compiled stories and illustrations from my own life; they relate the wonders and marvels God has worked on me and sometimes even through me. For the next week or two I am going to share some of those stories with you. Some are wonderful stories of hope and restoration, others reflect times of brokenness and healing.

I hope before we are through that they might bring a little wonder to your life as well.

My yoke is easy...

Sometimes we simply need a point of reference to remind us of how good God is. There have been days when I indulged in my own pity party, or complained because my Father was a little slow in bestowing His blessings. I marvel at how God continues to bless me through my murmuring and complaining. He simply waits for teachable moments to reveal himself to me.

This week has been a struggle at times. I have found myself impatient with others and with God. I want my prayers answered almost immediately and think how sweet life would be if all the obstacles were cleared from my path. I know that is not a very practical consideration, but it is my blog - so I am allowed to dream.

I know that God works on us in during our times of need and dependence. He challenges us with trails that we can only overcome with His help. He rebukes the son that He loves (Hebrews 12:6)! Sometimes I simply wish he didn't love me so much (no, not really).

So what about this point of clarity? How do we come to accept the challenges and heartaches that creep into our lives? I can only offer two simple strategies that work for me.

1. Claim the promises of God. Today I claim the words that Jesus spoke, "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30)

2. Stop and take a good hard look at the world. I don't ever want to be like the Pharisee in Luke 18:11, "I thank you that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican." That kind of self-righteousness smacks in the face of God's desire for us. However, when I look around and see the tragedy in the world; the starvation in Africa, the earthquakes in Peru, or the plight of our inner cities I realize how truly blessed I am.

No, life isn't always easy and sometimes our knees buckle under the burdens and weight we carry. Those are challenging times, but if we are faithful, they can also be extremely liberating. It may be in those dark days, straining under the weight and sin that we better understand a couple of other promises God has given us:

"Cast your cares on him: for he cares for you" (I Peter 5:7).

"Lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us" (Hebrews 12:1)

I don't know about you, but I am tired of collapsing under the burdens and weight of this life. I am ready to throw off the yoke of despair and heartache. I am ready to cast my cares on my Lord and Savior. I am tired of standing on the sidelines watching - I am ready to run the race.

Gatlinburg Retreat

This weekend was the 11th Annual Christian Singles retreat in Gatlinburg, TN. There were about 60 in attendance at the Stiener Bell Lodge tucked way in the beautiful Smokey Mountains.

I was blessed this year to be able to facilitate the retreat and we all had an amazing weekend together. The theme this year was "Living a Fulfilled Single Life," and the group took full advantage of experiencing the fulfilled life as well as studying about it. We had games, devotionals, hikes and my personal favorite - shopping in Gatlinburg (I hope you can sense the satire).

There were two keys to the success of this year's program. First, everyone came with a spirit of love, acceptance and compassion. It was really exciting to see how quickly this group connected and the support and encouragement they all provided for one another. The second key was their spirit of participation. During the educational periods, the group discussion was dynamic and compelling.

Of course the best part of any good singles workshop is spending it with other great singles. I was blessed to be able to make so many new friends, but I enjoyed the added pleasure of enjoying the beauty of God's creation with someone very special.

Tough Love

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about the God of second chances. It is comforting to know that God longs for the prodigals return and embraces the humble in His protective care. Sadly, there is a side to many who abuse God's grace and mercy. They anchor in His safe harbor when the storms of life are raging, but forget his goodness and mercy when the seas are calm and the sun fills the sky.

Jesus had to cope with these same people in his time. There were those who followed him only for the loaves and fishes and others who responded to His healing and restoration with an ungrateful heart. James refers to this individual as "a double minded man who is unstable in all his ways" or a man "who beholds his face in a mirror and then forgets what manner of man he is" (James 1:8; 23-24).

There have been times in my life that God has brought me to my knees as a reminder that He is Soveriegn and Lord, whether I acknowledge that or not. Those were always unpleasant and stressful times, but the result was a greater dependence upon God and a better understanding of his divine will in my life.

There are times I offer intercessory prayers on behalf of others, I typically ask God to heal them, bless them, or give them strength in difficult times. Rarely have I prayed, "Lord, bring them to their knees so they will know you are God and that your dominion is everlasting." Maybe I just need to ask God to heal them with a little tough love!

A Time to Laugh

Tonight I was reminded of what a blessing laughter is in our lives. Both the ability to laugh at ourselves and to share the gift of laughter with another. Here are some other's thoughts on laughter.

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people." Victor Borge

"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

"You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King

"And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." Kahlil Gibran

Someone once gave me some really sage advice. They told me that if you realize that you have done something foolish enough to laugh about later, then you might as well laugh about it now. Learn to find the humor in the embarrasments of the moment. Solomon was right, "A merry heart is good like medicine."

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

Morning Already?

So the alarm goes off at 5:00 am and the coffee hasn't started to brew. I glance that clock, slide over the side of the bed and mumble those words we all share in common, "Is it morning already?"

Each day is a little different, but I realize that how we face the day depends to a large degree on our attitude as we roll out of bed. Today, I am feeling just a little overwhelmed by all that needs to get done, so there is that underlying tension that comes from such a burden. On other days however, I wake before the alarm goes off eager and ready to start the day. It may be the result of a road trip I have scheduled, or a tennis match that I have been eagerly awaiting. The result is the same, because I look forward to those events, I can't wait for morning to arrive.

What a difference it would make if we simply woke up with a zeal and enthusiasm for each and every day. Imagine how our productivity might improve if we attacked each task with a fire in our belly and a desire to turn the mundane into an epic adventure.

So how do you plan to start your day? "Is it morning already", or "this is the day that he Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Friendship

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses, there is one which makes the heart run over."

Those words by James Boswell express well the growth and development of a friendship. I have always liked that quote because in some ways I believe we are all looking to have our vessel filled. Our lives are made richer when a friend fills it with kind words, tender thoughts, or selfless action.

Friendship is gift we give to ourselves. By surrounding ourselves with people who contribute to our lives we grow richer - not in a monetary way, but through a full and meaningful life.

There is however a catch to surrounding yourself with people who enrich your life. Solomon said, "A man that has friends must show himself friendly..." (Proverbs 18:24). If you want to enjoy the riches of friendship, then you must liberally invest in the lives of others.

Simple Pleasures

Last night I was talking with a friend and reminded about just how special the simple pleasures of life can be. I remember while preaching in a small town in Florida how much slower the pace of life was back then. On Monday mornings I would walk the 5 or 6 blocks to the local post office to get my mail. There was an older gentleman in the church who lived across the street from the post office so I would usually stop and have a cup of coffee with him.

The really significant achievements of my life are not commemorated on the walls of my office. The awards and achievements that cost so much of my time and energy don't compare with the rich rewards I have recieved in other areas. Sitting in the stands the night my son out dueled the #1 goalie in the region in double overtime, or rejoicing with my daughter through her amazing academic transformation this year hold a much more important place in my memory. Mission trips to Central America, helping a friend through a tough night, a picnic lunch on the banks of the Mississippi, or listening to the stories of an Octogenarian as he shares the memories of his youth - these are real pleasures in life.

The Battle Within

Most of us have heard the native American proverb about the old chief who tells his son that we all have two wolves inside us that are constantly doing battle. One is strong, noble and good, the other is wicked and evil. The son asks, "which wolf is the strongest?" and the old chief responds, "the one that you feed."

There is a lot of truth behind that old proverb. Paul recognized this in Romans 7:15-25 when he discusses the struggle between the spiritual and the carnal, between law and grace. In verse 15 he says, "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." In Paul's case he was struggling with turning loose of the law of Moses, but the principle is the same for each of us.

Satan attacks us where we are most vulnerable. It may be an addiction to drugs or alcohol, or our professional ethics in the workplace. When we look in the mirror we don't always see what we want to see. I wake up hoping to see the image of Christ, but always seem to fall a little short somewhere along the way.

For years I prayed that God would remove the struggles and conflict from my life. I was tired of being disappointed by others, but more importantly I was tired of disappointing myself. I am just starting to realize that God has tucked away hidden blessings in my struggles. What possible blessings could come from conflict, struggle and disappointment?

1. I am reminded of my dependence on God.
2. I am brought daily to my knees in prayer.
3. I am humbled by God's forgiveness and grace.
4. I am thankful for His sacrifice for my sin.
5. I look forward to a home with no sorrow or tears.

So what is the upside of all these challenges? After revealing to us his struggle Paul tells us, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1, 2).

A Love Story for the Ages

Like most men, I don't have much time for chick flicks. I don't get particularly excited when the Notebook or Beaches is airing opposite Monday Night Football. There is however one love story that captures my imagination every time I it hear it. It is the love story between God and man.

You see men can relate to a love story when it is filled with the pursuit of a beautiful woman or the intrigue of fighting for the woman we love. You may have missed it in a casual reading of the Bible, but it is a love story for the ages. It is filled with pursuit and passion, unfaithfulness and restoration.

The story begins with the bridegroom preparing a home for the bride. The garden in Genesis has everything the bride could imagine. On quiet evenings they would even walk and talk together in the garden. It doesn't take long however for infidelity to mar this beautiful story and the remaining pages record the bridegrooms struggle to bring his bride home.

From time to time she returns home to the bridegroom, but most of the story is her wandering in the wilderness of Sin and her drifting from lover to lover. As the story unfolds, we see the heartbreak and sorrow experienced by the bridegroom, but one thing never changes throughout the story - he continues to pursue the woman he loves. He is with her in the wilderness, he longs for her while in captivity and he pleads for her return each and every day.

Finally, in an act of full and complete sacrifice the bridegroom surrenders his own life to rescue his bride. She has been decieved by the lies and treachery of a false lover. For six hours he hangs on a cross and as he looks out over the crowd he whispers a prayer of forgiveness on her behalf.

Like any great love story, this one too has a beautiful ending. In the closing pages we again see the bride, but this time she is adorned in white, pure and spotless. There is no uncleaness in her. After generations of battle and pursuit, the bridegroom takes her home to her mansion and yes, the live happily ever after.

The Golden Years

Ralph & Melba had been married for 53 years. One evening they were sitting on the porch when Melba leaned over and said, "Why don't you nibble on my ear like you used to?" Without a word Ralph got up and headed for the house. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Melba said. "You didn't hurt my feelings, I was just going to get my teeth."

I always liked that story. Somewhere in that netherland between our dreams and prayers there is the hope that we might be the ones sitting on that porch swing looking back over 53 years of marriage. We all know couples who are as much in love today as there were 30, 40 or 50 years ago. They move us and inspire us by their love, devotion and commitment.

For those who have suffered the loss of another through death or divorce it is easy to let that dream slip away. We become discouraged or lose hope that God is listening as we silently whisper in prayer, "Father, bless me with a mate who will still hold my hand in 30 years, sit on the porch and talk to me in 40, and pray at my beside when I am sickly and old 50 years from now."

Don't be discouraged! Trust God and lean on him. Remember the words of the Psalmist, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4).

Meet me at the checkout.

It always makes me laugh when someone asks me dating advice. I guess that is the curse that comes with writing a book. People assume because you were gutsy enough to put something in print that you must be some kind of expert.

One of the ways I do research (and entertain myself at the same time) is to read the postings at Christian singles bulletin boards. It is tremendously insightful what people reveal about themselves on a public forum. One interesting discussion recently centered on how or where to meet people. I wrote in my book that it seems that some people are just waiting for FEDEX to overnight their life partner.

If you want to make friends, you have to create a social network. Online dating has become a multi-million dollar industry, but at some point in time you still have to make personal contact. I think there are two simple strategies for meeting other people with like values and interests. First, get involved in local activiites you enjoy, tennis, boating, chess club, or volunteer at a charity. Second, get over your shyness. Say hello to the woman in the produce section and ask her how she selects a good pineapple, or smile when you walk up to the teller at the bank and say, "You must be having a great day today - your face is just beaming."

I am not suggesting that you develop a set of smooth lines, just be friendly, sincere and open to making contact with people in your community. Most importantly, make sure you are attending church regularly. You have a better shot in church on Sunday, than you do at the local watering hole on Saturday night!!!

How can you be sure?

For the past few weeks I have been thinking about topics for an upcoming singles workshop in Gatlinburg. One of the questions I have heard from a number of single Christians is, "How can I be sure about the person I am dating?" Here are a few thoughts from experience (mine and others).

Does it feel right? Sometimes we tend to explain away certain personality quirks if we like someone. Nagging doubts, or little irritations tend to be magnified as a relationship advances. Yes, there will be things you have to work through in any relationship, but if, at the core they are character questions you need to think twice.

Can you talk about anything and everything? Good communication is a hallmark of a great relationship. There needs to be an openess and transparency between two people. Does the other person share their victories and failures with you, or do you get the sense that some topics are off limits? Chemistry is great, having fun together is important, but if you can't talk about the really important things in your heart and mind, you are heading for trouble.

Have you met their family and friends? The people we spend time with says a lot about our values and interests. If a persons surrounds themselves with people of godly character; if they are active in worthwhile causes like church and charities; it gives you a peek into their heart. If they sit around on Friday night with a six pack, or hang out at the local pub till 2:00 am., that probably tells you something too.

What does your gut (conscience) tell you? I have heard so many people say, "I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it." Of course it's great when you can say, "Wow, everything just feels right this time. Good experiences and bad have trained your conscience to be on guard - listen to it.

Finally, learn something from your past. Don't blame the other person, take a long look at yourself and ask, "What did I learn from past relationships?" I can't tell you how many people I have watched repeat the same mistakes. They will sit in my office and say, "I know that I date the wrong type of people, but that is what I am drawn too." If you want to change your results, then you need to change your behavior.

A Place of Vision

The wise man of old once wrote, "Where there is no vision, the people perish..." (Proverbs 29:18). That has always been a favorite verse of mine. I believe that God wants his people to have a vision, mission and purpose in the work that they do for Him.

It is great to be associated with a congregation that understands the importance of vision. At the Spring Meadows Church of Christ we believe that God has created a place of vision. A congregation that endeavors to serve the needs of our members and touch the lives of those living around us. Spring Hill, TN is a rapidly growing community (over 46% each year) and we know the fields are white unto harvest.

We are just beginning the great journey that God has set before our eyes. There is still so much we need to do. In the coming weeks and months we need the prayers, encouragement, support and even the financial help of our brothers and sisters all across the U.S. If you are looking for a place of vision to call home, come visit us at the Spring Meadows Church of Christ. There is more information if you click the link on the right of this page.

Is it the Dark Continent?

Africa was first called The Dark Continent by British missionaries. The term seemed to be a natural fit. The spiritual darkness could be seen in all the forms of their tribal religions. The Sacrificing to idols, pouring out libations to the spirits of ancestors and engaging in pagan rituals not previously seen by the “civilized” Christian community left these travelers with little doubt concerning the spiritual darkness they had encountered.

As we traveled through Nigeria we too experienced the Dark Continent. Not the spiritual darkness experienced by our forefathers, but the blackness of the African night. Electricity is a luxury that may be experienced for a couple of hours on a good day. When the lights go out at night there is a darkness that drapes your body like a cold, damp robe.

It is amazing the impact a small light can have in the darkest night. Each evening a few dozen light bulbs where illuminated over the chapel at Nigerian Christian Bible College. In an area that might seat 2,000 people if you pack them in tightly, we saw nearly 4,000 crammed under the tents and scattered all around the chapel area. While we begin to tire after an hour of worship, these dedicated servants of God would seat all day and all evening listening to the gospel be preached.

I am convinced you will never see a more stark contrast of the light and darkness better than we did during those three nights in Ukpom Abak. While generators provided light to a darkened chapel, the light of the gospel shined more brightly than the sun on the African plains. At the conclusion of services the first evening our hearts were filled with joy as people pushed their way through the crowds just to confess the precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ. By the end of the third evening over 160 people named the name of Jesus. Together hundreds of our brothers and sisters accompanied them down dangerous roads, through the black African night so they could be baptized for the remission of their sins.

We still refer to Africa as The Dark Continent, but nothing could be further from the truth. For over five decades the churches in Nigeria have grown at an amazing rate, doubling every decade. Today there are over 4,000 churches of Christ meeting in Nigeria and thousands more throughout the continent. The light of the gospel is shining brightly over Africa because of the men and women who support training preachers of the gospel and participate in the fellowship of this great work. We pray you will continue to support bringing the light of Christ to a people eager to escape the darkness.

For more information about the work at African Christian Schools Foundation, see the link on the right side of my page.

Wildflowers

Last fall I was hiking through East Tennessee and was amazed by the beauty and splendor of God's creation. Autumn would soon turn to winter, the leaves would be scattered and the vibrant reds, oranges and yellows would turn to brown and gray. While hiking around Indian Mound Lake a few wildflowers remained, peeking through the undergrowth painting the palette of the earth with the remnant of summer.

Earlier this evening I was on my way to teach a Bible class at the local coffeeshop. The mood was subdued, and the usual warmth and laughter seemed cloaked in clouds of concern; but just as the first freeze of winter couldn't extinguish the wildflowers pressing through the earth, a few wildflowers were planted along my path today.

In the moments before our study began a friend shared some kind words that were spoken on my behalf. It is always humbling, yet gratifying to hear the encouraging words of others. The last few weeks have been busy and full (rushed and stressful at times), but God allowed a few wildflowers to spring up along the way.

I am not sure who coined the phrase, "stop and smell the roses," but it's worth repeating. In the last few minutes before class I sat sipping my coffee, thankful that God brings friends into our lives to sow seeds of encouragement, so wildflowers can bloom in the winters of our discontent.

Let Go, Let God

I have never been a big follower of the trendy fads that follow the religious community. I understand the good that can come from getting people to stop and think, "What would Jesus Do?" (WWJD). I guess it is the commercialization, or the tendency to repeat things without thinking deeply that bothers me.

Sometimes when someone was struggling with certain challenges, or troubles they just couldn't turn loose, I would hear someone say, "Just let go and let God do His thing." I would cringe and think how trite that sounded in the midst of wading through the mire that can overtake our lives.

As I have pondered recent changes in my own life it has become obvious to me that there is some truth in that saying. I left "formal ministry" nearly 8 years ago, but somehow God always found a way to call me back. Whether it was working for a Christian based ministry, or teaching in the Bible school program, I never strayed too far from my roots. Over the past couple of years I have learned that ministry is where my heart is and I believe that is where God can best use me. That realization has forced me to let go of some of my selfish desires.

I really don't know what all that looks like in the future, but through victory and adversity, through trials and success, God has been good to me. He continues to remind me that there is a lot of wisdom in letting go of my own selfish pursuits and seeking a life devoted to him.

Let Go and Let God! I stand corrected - that is very good advice.

Waiting on God

I was never a very patient person - so waiting on God is always a challenge for me. It is especially difficult when the answer seems so obvious to me. "Alright Lord, I need one more account to meet my budget this month, wrapping that up by Friday would be great." Wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way.

Last night I was reminded of how many people out there are waiting on God to answer their prayer for a Christian partner. I was asked during our prayer service to pray for all those who are lonely and seeking a Christian mate. An interesting paradox isn't it: wait on the Lord, or seek a mate? I believe the old proverb, "God helps those who help themselves." It is the law of sowing and reaping. If we want a harvest, we have to sow some seed.

I know a lot of singles who are sitting at home, waiting for God to FEDEX their knight in shining armor. I tried a search on E-bay, but she wasn't their either. Loneliness is a terrible thing because it can debilitate people. Their negativity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They never find the love of their life, because of apathy and inactivity.

This may sound a little harsh, but if you are lonely, get off the couch - throw on a little make-up and visit a singles class at church, or volunteer at a local charity, maybe even get back to working out at the YMCA occasionally. Guys, you need to shave, put on a clean shirt, brush your teeth and put on a little deoderant.

Since we are all waiting on God to bring us that special someone, we might as well use that time to prepare ourselves for the next great thing He pours into our lives. A wise man once said, "Success is where opportunity meets preparation." You take the time to get prepared and an opportunity will present itself.

Take me Higher

There are certain people in your life who lift you up and make your life richer and fuller. As I look back over 48 years I realize I have been blessed with more than a few of those friends. I have childhood friends I keep in touch with, my college roomate and I get together a few times a year even though he lives in Canada, and I still have close friendships in all the churches I have been priviledged to serve.

This past week has reminded me of the blessings of friendship. There is a fairly new trend on the internet known as social networking. It consists of websites like myspace and facebook. They are marketed as a way to stay connected and they can serve a good purpose, but I think they are only effective when you have built a personal relationship with someone. Every once in a while I get a "friend request" from someone I don't know. That seems strange to me. "You may be an ax murder, but I want you to be my friend."

Maybe I am just old fashion, but I want to see my friends face to face. I enjoy sitting and talking over a cup of coffee. I want to see the gleam in their eye, hear the subtle intonations of their voice as we share our thoughts and ideas.

There are a few people who raise my spirits with an email. I am thankful that I can stay connected with my son who is in Europe, friends across the state, but even those relationships were built through personal interaction.

Now for the inconsistency of this blog. Here I am sharing my thoughts and feelings with my friends through this electronic medium called the internet. If somehow my words have touched you and we are not yet friends - well that just shows what an intelligent person you are. :-)

Band of Brothers

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition. An gentlemen in England now-a-bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhood cheap while any speaks that fought with us on St. Crispins day. (Henry V, Shakespeare)

The year was 1415 and as the English marched across Northwest France, the men had grown weak from dysentary and morale was low. The French saw this as an opportunity to rid their country of this enemy. They brought 25,000 men up against this struggling band, but Henry rallied his forces and the English lost only 200 men while the defeated French lost 5,000.

When men walk together through life their is something special. When you are forced to join arms and fight, or pull your brother up from a struggle that has ravaged his life you create bonds not easily broken.

I spent two years walking through life with 11 such men. We shared our good times and our sorrows. There were battles and struggles and times our morale was low, but no one ever walked alone. In Shakespeare's rendition of Henry V, he talks of the men who one day will draw back their sleeves and show the scars they carry from the battle at Agincourt. When I think of my own band of brothers, we each bear the scars that life left on us, but we look upon them with honor and with joy. Those scars remind me of the men who joined me in life's battle.

When I think about how great it is to have those kind of men in your life - friends that I will carry with me to the grave, I am also reminded of how hard it must have been for Christ to hang on the cross. Yes the torture of a cross was a brutal and senseless way to kill a man, but I believe the real anquish of our savior was to look out over the angry mob and all but his mother and John had departed. In that moment we see the humanity of Jesus as he cried out, "My God, My God why has thou forsaken me."

Though we are tempted, tried and tested - we never walk alone. We have a deliverer to lead us into battle and a Savior to rescue us from defeat. Among my own band of brothers is an elder brother who surrendered his body and blood for my freedom and security.

Henry V died at age 35, seven years after the battle of Agincourt. Our Lord was raised from the grave three days after his crucifixion, never to die again. Our King leads us to an eternal victory that will one day also rescue us from the grave.

Right or Wrong

I attended a parent / teacher meeting at my daughter' school tonight and I continue to be impressed with the focus and emphasis the school places on teaching the students to make solid moral decisions. While discussing the role of Humanities in their curriculum, the founder stated, "Our goal is not to teach your children the difference between right and wrong, our goal is to teach your children the difference between right and almost right."

That is a very powerful distinction. I know individuals who have lived their entire lives under the shadow of the cross and never learned that lesson. We live in a world filled with situational ethics and justifications for every form of immoral and ungodlly behavior. It is refreshing to find a school where the objective is to shape a child's thinking and not simply monitor their behavior. Thank you FCS.

The Measure of a Man

I have recently been re-reading John Eldridge's book "Wild at Heart." My son and I have both read the book through at least three times. Eldridge does such an excellent job explaining why God created us the way he did.

There is something that captures the imagination of a man as he watches John Wayne draw his pistol from the holster, or Michael Jordan hit a jump shot from 30 feet with the game on the line. We love the violence of hockey and football because of the vicarious thrill of watching men go into battle.

God didn't design men to be spectators, he created us to be leaders. To fight for our families, stand up for the oppressed and defend the truth and honor of the bride of Christ. I believe that Theodore Roosevelt captures the heart of a "real man" in the following statement.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

In a few weeks the men of the Spring Meadows Church of Christ will be studying Wild at Heart on Wednesday evenings. I pray all of our men will come and bring friends. If you are inspired by Henry's speech at Agincourt or how Sir William Wallace rallied his men to go up against the superior forces of the English, or it may be you long to stand beside the 300 Spartan's as they hold off the Persians at the pass at Thermopylae. If this describes you then join us for an epic adventure of manhood.

The God of Second Chances

When Tom Watson was serving as head of IBM one of his top level executives made a mistake that cost the company over a million dollars. Knowing that his job was history the manager walked into Watson's office and said, "I know boss, I messed up and I am ready to quit." Watson responded, "Quit, are you kidding, it cost a million dollars to educate you. It's time to get back to work."

I don't think I ever cost an employer a million dollars, or even walked into an employer's office expecting to be fired, but there have been many occasions when I have been thankful for recieving a second chance.

The other day I was reading Matthew 18 where Peter asks the Lord how many times he should forgive his brother - 7 times? Jesus said, "I tell you not seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:22). That can be a difficult command to live sometimes, but it becomes easier when we realize that God wasn't just giving us a command, he was giving us an insight into His own divine nature. Our God is a loving, compassionate and forgiving God.

So, next time you feel you have exhausted God's patience, or fallen so far that you will never find the road back, remember that we serve a God of second (third, and fourth) chances. Like the father in the prodigal son, He stands watching and waiting for our return. When we go to him ready to quit, ready to surrender to the obstacles of life, feeling that all hope is lost, you can imagine him saying, "Are you kidding, you can't quit, my son already paid that debt with his blood. It's time to get back to work."

Evaluating our Priorities

There was a sense of relief as our plane landed in Lagos, Nigeria. After spending a day and a half on airplanes and in airports I was ready to start our pilgrimage across the Dark Continent.

I smiled as we waited on our luggage. There was a large sign hanging over the exit that read, "Nigeria: The happiest people on earth." My initial reaction was, "Yea Right." I had heard stories about Nigeria; the violence, corruption and poverty. How could these be the happiest people on earth?

The next two hours were spent in cramped vehicles traveling to Calabar. As we drove through the crowed streets of Lagos I was a bit overwhelmed by the overcrowding and poverty. Again, I thought about the sign in the airport "Nigeria: The Happiest People on Earth." The blind, crippled and destitute standing in the streets begging for their daily bread, raw sewage running through the streets - who were they trying to convince?

The next couple of weeks showed me a different side of Nigeria - the people living outside of the major cities. While there was still poverty and hardships I came to realize that many of the people working in the markets, or selling their wares on the streets lived life from day to day. They didn't have the luxury of worrying about tomorrow or next week, for as Jesus said, "tomorrow will bring its own anxieties" (Matthew 6:34).

Two weeks without the cell phone ringing, or the beckoning call of my internet browser was a welcome relief. I kept notes in a hand written journal and took daily walks on the campus or through the local villages. During that time I ate better, slept better and felt better about myself and about life. I realized how easy it is for my priorities to get completely out of balance.

I have returned home from mission trips before with a commitment to change my priorities, only to fall quickly back into old patterns of behavior. I pray this time that I can keep some of those promises I made to myself about simplifying life and taking pleasure in this day that God has given me.

I don't know if the Nigerian people are the happiest people on earth, but I found an inner peace and contentment during my short stay there. I pray that I can hold on to those feelings a little longer this time round.

Family

21 years ago my father died suddenly of a heart attack and 12 years ago I lost a brother the same way. 4 years ago to the day the judge signed the papers dissolving my marriage and two years ago my mother died of ovarian cancer. There was one constant through each of these tragedies - I was always surrounded by family.

My biological family have always been close. Growing up our friends at church would just refer to us as "the Wheeler boys," but the family I am referring to is my spiritual family - my brothers and sisters in Christ. I had just moved to a new church the day before my father died. The elders told me to go and take as much time as I needed to help my family and cope with the grieving process. When I returned my "new family" rallied around me and made me feel at home.

When my brother passed away, doing mission work in Costa Rica, the church collected the funds to send me to San Jose to help with the arrangements there. When my marriage failed, it was my Christian family who rescued me from heartache and despair and when I lost my mom they comforted me like no one else could.

Today my family all live in and around Spring Hill, Tennessee. They are a special group of people - like none I have ever known. They pray with me, cry with me and rejoice with me. They rally around my children, hold up my hands when I am weak and challenge me when apathy overtakes me.

I have seen some dark days and battled some personal demons in my life (probably no more than the next guy), but I couldn't have made it this far without my Christian family. I don't know how some people make it through life without a Father to comfort them, an elder brother to watch over them and a multitude to carry their burdens when they are weak.

I am proud of my family name - Christian. Like any family we have a few characters, some who struggle and a few hoary heads to impart to us wisdom along the way. Sometimes we fuss, but mostly we just love one another - for love covers a multitude of sin.

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Remember

I know at times I must really frustrate God. He has surrounded me with a 1,000 reasons to remember him daily. Whether it is all the memorials he has recorded throughout his word, or the granduer of his creation - somehow I still forget.

Like many of my peers I get busy with work, children and yes it is even possible to get too busy at church (if you are working without purpose). Trying to live life can quickly crowd out the the importance of "retaining God in our knowledge."

I am thankful that in addition to the encouragement I find God's word and the friends he has sent to hold me accountable, that God still works in my life. I can't always explain how God calls me to remembrance. Sometimes he uses a trial or hardship, at other times it is the pure joy that comes from a brother or sister stepping up and walking with me through life, but this I know - God is alive and active.

So next time you feel you are drifting, or alone, remember God because he never forgets you.

www.coffeehousestudies.com

Honesty with Compassion

Honesty and compassion are two traits that work well together, but can actually be damaging when practiced in a vacuum. Let me give you an example. I have often been bruised and battered by the verbal onslaught of another only to have them excuse their behavior by saying, "I was only being honest."

I don't believe that honesty is a club that should be used to bludgeon our friends and acquaintances whenever it suits us. Compassion can also be a quality that is exercised without discretion. When we always bend over backwards for another person, or give them a pass when they do something wrong - we then become enablers. Grace and compassion were never intended to be the all encompassing umbrella that protects us from personal responsibility and acceptable social behavior.

Now take honesty and compassion and put them together and you have this wonderful marriage of two complementary qualities. Honesty will help us when we need to share unpleasant truths with those we love. Perhaps a friend who is in denial over something going on in their life, or a co-worker who needs to suck it up and get their work done. Compassion then tempers our approach to that person. We pause to consider the impact of our statements and how they can be delivered to bring the desired result while inflicting the least amount of pain.

If you are going to be honest with me, please temper your zeal with a little compassion. If you are feeling sorry for me, take the time to gently share with me the unpleasant truths I need to hear.

Were there not ten?

In Luke 17, Jesus approaches a village when he meets ten lepers who stood afar off (17:12). They cried out to our Lord to have mercy on them. Jesus instructed them to go show themselves to the priests and once they obeyed they were cleansed.

Imagine the tremendous joy they must have felt. All of a sudden their entire lives where changed. No longer did they have to isolate themselves from social contact. They would never again have to walk through the streets crying, "unclean, unclean" as others approached. The dispair of waiting day by day as their bodies slowly withered away was a thing of the past.

What is more incredible is that only one of the ten turned back and glorified God. He fell down at the feet of Jesus and thanked Him. Even more amazing is the fact that the one who returned was a Samaritan.

I have often heard lessons from this passage emphasizing the importance of gratitude, but this morning another thought came to mind. I started thinking about all the people that Jesus helped and how few actually thanked him. He raised the dead, restored the lame, healed the sick, fed the hungry and ministered to the heartbroken - still through it all many took his good works for granted.

In this particular case Jesus recognized the fact that nine of the ten failed to return and glorify God, but in most cases Jesus simply went about doing good. In Acts 10:38 that is exactly what Peter says about our Lord, "God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him."

So, are you the kind of person who has to be thanked for everything you do? Do you think that the church should only help those who express gratitude, show penetence, or identify themselves with the local church? Our obligation is "to do good unto all men, especially those of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10). There are times I feel as Jesus did - "Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?" (Luke 17:17).

Lord, thank you for the one who returned and glorified God. Thank for setting an example of sacrificial service, even when it seems unappreciated. Thank you for reminding me that my duty to mankind is to sieze the opportunities to daily serve.

Encouraging Words

As part of my ongoing work with singles I find myself involved in a lot areas. Whether it is blogging, teaching a singles class, posting messages on bulletin boards, or subscribing to list- serves, there are some common threads with everyone I meet.

One area that has become abundantly clear to me over the past few weeks is that everyone wants to hear encouraging words - even those who don't often give them. The wise man of old says, "A kind word turns away wrath."

I am afraid that sometimes we forgot how powerful our words can be. Through words Hitler convinced a nation to commit the most deplorable attrocities and through words Churchill lifted a nation from its knees and taught them to never surrender.

We often marvel at the grand gestures of those who are helping combat world hunger, or fighting the AIDS virus, or putting political pressure on places like Darfur. What we forget is that each and everyday we too can make a difference. A few words of encouragement, a pat on the back or offering a little hope when someone is discouraged can change life forever.

Take an opportunity today to speak some encouraging words to those who are longing to hear them.

Our Pop Culture

This morning I changed my home page when I logged onto the Internet. For the longest time it simply defaulted to the Comcast website. I have tired of seeing the headlines concerning Brittany, Christina, Justin and the other "entertainers" who seem to get some twisted pleasure out of their dysfunctional behaviors.

Statistics show that the divorce rates continue to rise and that at any given time 25% of our children are raised in single-parent homes and that 50% of children in the U.S. will be raised by a single parent at some point in their lives.

I know there are lots of reason for all the relationship problems we face in our country, but one of them is the message we constantly recieve in the media. Our music, movies, television and even commercials send the message that relationships are disposable and that pleasure is more important that happiness.

It has always irritated me when we make excuses for bad behavior. It would be easy to blame or modern culture, how we were raised, or other external influences for our behavior; but the bottom line is that I am responsible for my actions and behaviors. God has given me his word to instruct me, Christian friends to support me, and the Holy Spirit to guide me.

While I am often disgusted by the moral behavior of many who live in the spotlight, I also feel for them. I don't believe they are truly happy and realize that God wants us to pray for all his children. So, as strange as it seems, when you are praying for friends who struggling and family members who are sick, try saying a prayer for the "cultural leaders" in our society that God may touch their hearts and bring them to an understanding of His will.

ANSWERS

There have been many times in my life when I found myself on my knees asking God for answers to some of life's toughest questions.

* Lord, why did this happen to me?
* Will this sense of loneliness ever end?
* How can I be a better parent to my children?

The questions change depending on the particular need or crisis, but the pattern is typically the same. A challenge or hardship comes our way and we feel as though we are at our ropes end. We don't know where to turn, or how to find the answers to the problems we face. It is in those moments of deep desparation we turn to God.

Then comes the fun part. "O.K God, I prayed about it. I asked for your help - now it is time for you to fix everything." While I have fallen into that pattern far too many times myself, I hope that on a few occasions I had the clarity of thought to "search for the answers." God did not provide his divine will so that we could keep our leather bound, thumb-indexed editions of his word setting neatly on our coffee tables.

The writer of Hebrews was right when he said, "For God's Message is full of life and power, and is keener than the sharpest two-edged sword. It pierces even to the severance of soul from spirit, and penetrates between the joints and the marrow, and it can discern the secret thoughts and purposes of the heart." (WNT) Sometimes I imagine God just sitting there, shaking His head saying, "Just like a man, he still hasn't read the instruction manual."

Often times we behave like small children. We want very short, simple answers to the most complex questions. God longs for us to pour our hearts out before Him, but he also expects us to make an effort to find the answers he has placed right before our eyes.