Gatlinburg Retreat

This weekend was the 11th Annual Christian Singles retreat in Gatlinburg, TN. There were about 60 in attendance at the Stiener Bell Lodge tucked way in the beautiful Smokey Mountains.

I was blessed this year to be able to facilitate the retreat and we all had an amazing weekend together. The theme this year was "Living a Fulfilled Single Life," and the group took full advantage of experiencing the fulfilled life as well as studying about it. We had games, devotionals, hikes and my personal favorite - shopping in Gatlinburg (I hope you can sense the satire).

There were two keys to the success of this year's program. First, everyone came with a spirit of love, acceptance and compassion. It was really exciting to see how quickly this group connected and the support and encouragement they all provided for one another. The second key was their spirit of participation. During the educational periods, the group discussion was dynamic and compelling.

Of course the best part of any good singles workshop is spending it with other great singles. I was blessed to be able to make so many new friends, but I enjoyed the added pleasure of enjoying the beauty of God's creation with someone very special.

Meet me at the checkout.

It always makes me laugh when someone asks me dating advice. I guess that is the curse that comes with writing a book. People assume because you were gutsy enough to put something in print that you must be some kind of expert.

One of the ways I do research (and entertain myself at the same time) is to read the postings at Christian singles bulletin boards. It is tremendously insightful what people reveal about themselves on a public forum. One interesting discussion recently centered on how or where to meet people. I wrote in my book that it seems that some people are just waiting for FEDEX to overnight their life partner.

If you want to make friends, you have to create a social network. Online dating has become a multi-million dollar industry, but at some point in time you still have to make personal contact. I think there are two simple strategies for meeting other people with like values and interests. First, get involved in local activiites you enjoy, tennis, boating, chess club, or volunteer at a charity. Second, get over your shyness. Say hello to the woman in the produce section and ask her how she selects a good pineapple, or smile when you walk up to the teller at the bank and say, "You must be having a great day today - your face is just beaming."

I am not suggesting that you develop a set of smooth lines, just be friendly, sincere and open to making contact with people in your community. Most importantly, make sure you are attending church regularly. You have a better shot in church on Sunday, than you do at the local watering hole on Saturday night!!!

Waiting on God

I was never a very patient person - so waiting on God is always a challenge for me. It is especially difficult when the answer seems so obvious to me. "Alright Lord, I need one more account to meet my budget this month, wrapping that up by Friday would be great." Wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way.

Last night I was reminded of how many people out there are waiting on God to answer their prayer for a Christian partner. I was asked during our prayer service to pray for all those who are lonely and seeking a Christian mate. An interesting paradox isn't it: wait on the Lord, or seek a mate? I believe the old proverb, "God helps those who help themselves." It is the law of sowing and reaping. If we want a harvest, we have to sow some seed.

I know a lot of singles who are sitting at home, waiting for God to FEDEX their knight in shining armor. I tried a search on E-bay, but she wasn't their either. Loneliness is a terrible thing because it can debilitate people. Their negativity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They never find the love of their life, because of apathy and inactivity.

This may sound a little harsh, but if you are lonely, get off the couch - throw on a little make-up and visit a singles class at church, or volunteer at a local charity, maybe even get back to working out at the YMCA occasionally. Guys, you need to shave, put on a clean shirt, brush your teeth and put on a little deoderant.

Since we are all waiting on God to bring us that special someone, we might as well use that time to prepare ourselves for the next great thing He pours into our lives. A wise man once said, "Success is where opportunity meets preparation." You take the time to get prepared and an opportunity will present itself.

Remember

I know at times I must really frustrate God. He has surrounded me with a 1,000 reasons to remember him daily. Whether it is all the memorials he has recorded throughout his word, or the granduer of his creation - somehow I still forget.

Like many of my peers I get busy with work, children and yes it is even possible to get too busy at church (if you are working without purpose). Trying to live life can quickly crowd out the the importance of "retaining God in our knowledge."

I am thankful that in addition to the encouragement I find God's word and the friends he has sent to hold me accountable, that God still works in my life. I can't always explain how God calls me to remembrance. Sometimes he uses a trial or hardship, at other times it is the pure joy that comes from a brother or sister stepping up and walking with me through life, but this I know - God is alive and active.

So next time you feel you are drifting, or alone, remember God because he never forgets you.

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Were there not ten?

In Luke 17, Jesus approaches a village when he meets ten lepers who stood afar off (17:12). They cried out to our Lord to have mercy on them. Jesus instructed them to go show themselves to the priests and once they obeyed they were cleansed.

Imagine the tremendous joy they must have felt. All of a sudden their entire lives where changed. No longer did they have to isolate themselves from social contact. They would never again have to walk through the streets crying, "unclean, unclean" as others approached. The dispair of waiting day by day as their bodies slowly withered away was a thing of the past.

What is more incredible is that only one of the ten turned back and glorified God. He fell down at the feet of Jesus and thanked Him. Even more amazing is the fact that the one who returned was a Samaritan.

I have often heard lessons from this passage emphasizing the importance of gratitude, but this morning another thought came to mind. I started thinking about all the people that Jesus helped and how few actually thanked him. He raised the dead, restored the lame, healed the sick, fed the hungry and ministered to the heartbroken - still through it all many took his good works for granted.

In this particular case Jesus recognized the fact that nine of the ten failed to return and glorify God, but in most cases Jesus simply went about doing good. In Acts 10:38 that is exactly what Peter says about our Lord, "God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him."

So, are you the kind of person who has to be thanked for everything you do? Do you think that the church should only help those who express gratitude, show penetence, or identify themselves with the local church? Our obligation is "to do good unto all men, especially those of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10). There are times I feel as Jesus did - "Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?" (Luke 17:17).

Lord, thank you for the one who returned and glorified God. Thank for setting an example of sacrificial service, even when it seems unappreciated. Thank you for reminding me that my duty to mankind is to sieze the opportunities to daily serve.

Encouraging Words

As part of my ongoing work with singles I find myself involved in a lot areas. Whether it is blogging, teaching a singles class, posting messages on bulletin boards, or subscribing to list- serves, there are some common threads with everyone I meet.

One area that has become abundantly clear to me over the past few weeks is that everyone wants to hear encouraging words - even those who don't often give them. The wise man of old says, "A kind word turns away wrath."

I am afraid that sometimes we forgot how powerful our words can be. Through words Hitler convinced a nation to commit the most deplorable attrocities and through words Churchill lifted a nation from its knees and taught them to never surrender.

We often marvel at the grand gestures of those who are helping combat world hunger, or fighting the AIDS virus, or putting political pressure on places like Darfur. What we forget is that each and everyday we too can make a difference. A few words of encouragement, a pat on the back or offering a little hope when someone is discouraged can change life forever.

Take an opportunity today to speak some encouraging words to those who are longing to hear them.

Our Pop Culture

This morning I changed my home page when I logged onto the Internet. For the longest time it simply defaulted to the Comcast website. I have tired of seeing the headlines concerning Brittany, Christina, Justin and the other "entertainers" who seem to get some twisted pleasure out of their dysfunctional behaviors.

Statistics show that the divorce rates continue to rise and that at any given time 25% of our children are raised in single-parent homes and that 50% of children in the U.S. will be raised by a single parent at some point in their lives.

I know there are lots of reason for all the relationship problems we face in our country, but one of them is the message we constantly recieve in the media. Our music, movies, television and even commercials send the message that relationships are disposable and that pleasure is more important that happiness.

It has always irritated me when we make excuses for bad behavior. It would be easy to blame or modern culture, how we were raised, or other external influences for our behavior; but the bottom line is that I am responsible for my actions and behaviors. God has given me his word to instruct me, Christian friends to support me, and the Holy Spirit to guide me.

While I am often disgusted by the moral behavior of many who live in the spotlight, I also feel for them. I don't believe they are truly happy and realize that God wants us to pray for all his children. So, as strange as it seems, when you are praying for friends who struggling and family members who are sick, try saying a prayer for the "cultural leaders" in our society that God may touch their hearts and bring them to an understanding of His will.