Friendship

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses, there is one which makes the heart run over."

Those words by James Boswell express well the growth and development of a friendship. I have always liked that quote because in some ways I believe we are all looking to have our vessel filled. Our lives are made richer when a friend fills it with kind words, tender thoughts, or selfless action.

Friendship is gift we give to ourselves. By surrounding ourselves with people who contribute to our lives we grow richer - not in a monetary way, but through a full and meaningful life.

There is however a catch to surrounding yourself with people who enrich your life. Solomon said, "A man that has friends must show himself friendly..." (Proverbs 18:24). If you want to enjoy the riches of friendship, then you must liberally invest in the lives of others.

Simple Pleasures

Last night I was talking with a friend and reminded about just how special the simple pleasures of life can be. I remember while preaching in a small town in Florida how much slower the pace of life was back then. On Monday mornings I would walk the 5 or 6 blocks to the local post office to get my mail. There was an older gentleman in the church who lived across the street from the post office so I would usually stop and have a cup of coffee with him.

The really significant achievements of my life are not commemorated on the walls of my office. The awards and achievements that cost so much of my time and energy don't compare with the rich rewards I have recieved in other areas. Sitting in the stands the night my son out dueled the #1 goalie in the region in double overtime, or rejoicing with my daughter through her amazing academic transformation this year hold a much more important place in my memory. Mission trips to Central America, helping a friend through a tough night, a picnic lunch on the banks of the Mississippi, or listening to the stories of an Octogenarian as he shares the memories of his youth - these are real pleasures in life.

Meet me at the checkout.

It always makes me laugh when someone asks me dating advice. I guess that is the curse that comes with writing a book. People assume because you were gutsy enough to put something in print that you must be some kind of expert.

One of the ways I do research (and entertain myself at the same time) is to read the postings at Christian singles bulletin boards. It is tremendously insightful what people reveal about themselves on a public forum. One interesting discussion recently centered on how or where to meet people. I wrote in my book that it seems that some people are just waiting for FEDEX to overnight their life partner.

If you want to make friends, you have to create a social network. Online dating has become a multi-million dollar industry, but at some point in time you still have to make personal contact. I think there are two simple strategies for meeting other people with like values and interests. First, get involved in local activiites you enjoy, tennis, boating, chess club, or volunteer at a charity. Second, get over your shyness. Say hello to the woman in the produce section and ask her how she selects a good pineapple, or smile when you walk up to the teller at the bank and say, "You must be having a great day today - your face is just beaming."

I am not suggesting that you develop a set of smooth lines, just be friendly, sincere and open to making contact with people in your community. Most importantly, make sure you are attending church regularly. You have a better shot in church on Sunday, than you do at the local watering hole on Saturday night!!!

Wildflowers

Last fall I was hiking through East Tennessee and was amazed by the beauty and splendor of God's creation. Autumn would soon turn to winter, the leaves would be scattered and the vibrant reds, oranges and yellows would turn to brown and gray. While hiking around Indian Mound Lake a few wildflowers remained, peeking through the undergrowth painting the palette of the earth with the remnant of summer.

Earlier this evening I was on my way to teach a Bible class at the local coffeeshop. The mood was subdued, and the usual warmth and laughter seemed cloaked in clouds of concern; but just as the first freeze of winter couldn't extinguish the wildflowers pressing through the earth, a few wildflowers were planted along my path today.

In the moments before our study began a friend shared some kind words that were spoken on my behalf. It is always humbling, yet gratifying to hear the encouraging words of others. The last few weeks have been busy and full (rushed and stressful at times), but God allowed a few wildflowers to spring up along the way.

I am not sure who coined the phrase, "stop and smell the roses," but it's worth repeating. In the last few minutes before class I sat sipping my coffee, thankful that God brings friends into our lives to sow seeds of encouragement, so wildflowers can bloom in the winters of our discontent.

Take me Higher

There are certain people in your life who lift you up and make your life richer and fuller. As I look back over 48 years I realize I have been blessed with more than a few of those friends. I have childhood friends I keep in touch with, my college roomate and I get together a few times a year even though he lives in Canada, and I still have close friendships in all the churches I have been priviledged to serve.

This past week has reminded me of the blessings of friendship. There is a fairly new trend on the internet known as social networking. It consists of websites like myspace and facebook. They are marketed as a way to stay connected and they can serve a good purpose, but I think they are only effective when you have built a personal relationship with someone. Every once in a while I get a "friend request" from someone I don't know. That seems strange to me. "You may be an ax murder, but I want you to be my friend."

Maybe I am just old fashion, but I want to see my friends face to face. I enjoy sitting and talking over a cup of coffee. I want to see the gleam in their eye, hear the subtle intonations of their voice as we share our thoughts and ideas.

There are a few people who raise my spirits with an email. I am thankful that I can stay connected with my son who is in Europe, friends across the state, but even those relationships were built through personal interaction.

Now for the inconsistency of this blog. Here I am sharing my thoughts and feelings with my friends through this electronic medium called the internet. If somehow my words have touched you and we are not yet friends - well that just shows what an intelligent person you are. :-)