You Never Know

I still recall sitting down at the Starbucks near Wolfchase Mall in Memphis waiting to see if she was as pretty, smart and well-balanced as her online profile indicated. A lot of people are self-conscious about admitting they met through a "dating site," but there are a few advantages: 1) You get to see a picture and read how they describe themselves; 2) You can email and talk for a while before going through that initial face to face meeting; 3) If you are smart, you learn to look for "red flags" that might save you a lot of time and energy down the road.

I learned a lot about myself and about the life that I wanted during my five years of bachelor life. Mostly, I realized how important it was to find someone who shared my values for God, family and the church. The work that I wanted to do and the life that I longed to live all centered around my church family, my Christian service and my desire to raise my children in a godly environment.

It is interesting how God works in our life. We can spend so much time planning and preparing for how we want things to be we forget to include God in the equation. Let me give you a few examples of how God overruled my own lack of understanding.

1. I was never an advocate of long distance relationships, but what a blessing 3 hours of separation has been. We talk together, pray together and have really gotten to know one another. Physical attractions is great - but communication is essential.

2. I thought I was through raising children, but Debbie has two wonderful girls and it has allowed me to see her love, concern and care for those she loves. It has allowed me a deeper look into her heart.

3. I doubted whether I would ever serve in a ministerial capacity in the church again, but her love for God and desire to serve opens so many opportunities for both of us in the years to come.

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering; she grows more lovely every day, she is smarter than those folks who stay at a Holiday Inn Express, and balanced isn't strong enough word to communicate her approach to life, struggles and goals for the future. All of those things have caused me to grow more and more in my love for Debbie Baker, but her heart for God is the one attribute that sent me over the edge.

So next time you sit down for a Caramel Macchiato just remember - "you never know what God might have in store for you."

The blessing of words

In a file in my office I keep letters that were sent to me by some very special people in my life. Some of them are letters of thanks, others are simply little notes of encouragement and support. They are some of my most treasured possesions.

I have never been rich as the world counts wealth, but God has bestowed upon me treasures that other men covet. I was reminded today just how valuable time, relationships and communication are.

As Tristan and I walked the paths and trails I realized how blessed my life really is. Our conversation flowed as easily as the water along the streams feeding Radnor Lake. We may not have solved the problems of the gulf war, or the down turn in the economy, but we discussed religion, philosophy and literature with an ease and comfort that comes from years of heartfelt conversations.

We all love our children and its hard at times to watch them grow up and find their place in the world, but some things are more difficult to let go. When Tristan left for college I missed our evening conversations, while he spent three months in Europe our conversations were almost non-existent, but today was such a welcome reunion.

Through the years we have had many conversations. There were those difficult father/son talks that had to be made, times when discipline had to be imposed, and the lectures that came as he began to grow into manhood. Today was different - while it was a father and son soaking up the glory of God's creation, something had changed. I got to spend today talking man to man with the son I love and respect.

Thank you for the life you have chosen to live, may God continue to bless your years with maturity and faithfulness.

Love One Another

I will never forget driving up to the church one evening and William (not his real name), was sitting on the steps just waiting for someone to show up and let him in. Will grew up in the worst kind of social squaller. He was the product of a broken home and his mother would bring men into the house and engage in behavior that no child should ever have to see.

One day members of the local church were canvassing the neighborhood and signed Will up to ride the "Joy Bus." It was the day that changed his life forever. He only lived a few blocks away, so he rarely waited for the bus to show up at his house. More often than not he was at the church ready to ride along and help out where he could. He attended every service, never missed a youth event, and pretty soon was leading prayers and giving short Bible talks.

I left for college and often wondered what happend to Will, at least until that cool December morning in Plymouth, MI. I remember a tall strapping young man in uniform walked in with his wife at his side and small child in tow. Will was serving with distinction in the U.S. Army, had married a Christian girl and was active in the local church.

How does a young man from such a troubled background grow to become a pillar in the local church? It was the result of a loving family. No, not his biological family, but his spiritual family. I have often subscribed to the belief that we can make a lot of mistakes in life, as long as we love one another, for "love covers a multitude of sin."

A Time to Laugh

Tonight I was reminded of what a blessing laughter is in our lives. Both the ability to laugh at ourselves and to share the gift of laughter with another. Here are some other's thoughts on laughter.

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people." Victor Borge

"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

"You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King

"And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." Kahlil Gibran

Someone once gave me some really sage advice. They told me that if you realize that you have done something foolish enough to laugh about later, then you might as well laugh about it now. Learn to find the humor in the embarrasments of the moment. Solomon was right, "A merry heart is good like medicine."

Friendship

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses, there is one which makes the heart run over."

Those words by James Boswell express well the growth and development of a friendship. I have always liked that quote because in some ways I believe we are all looking to have our vessel filled. Our lives are made richer when a friend fills it with kind words, tender thoughts, or selfless action.

Friendship is gift we give to ourselves. By surrounding ourselves with people who contribute to our lives we grow richer - not in a monetary way, but through a full and meaningful life.

There is however a catch to surrounding yourself with people who enrich your life. Solomon said, "A man that has friends must show himself friendly..." (Proverbs 18:24). If you want to enjoy the riches of friendship, then you must liberally invest in the lives of others.

A Love Story for the Ages

Like most men, I don't have much time for chick flicks. I don't get particularly excited when the Notebook or Beaches is airing opposite Monday Night Football. There is however one love story that captures my imagination every time I it hear it. It is the love story between God and man.

You see men can relate to a love story when it is filled with the pursuit of a beautiful woman or the intrigue of fighting for the woman we love. You may have missed it in a casual reading of the Bible, but it is a love story for the ages. It is filled with pursuit and passion, unfaithfulness and restoration.

The story begins with the bridegroom preparing a home for the bride. The garden in Genesis has everything the bride could imagine. On quiet evenings they would even walk and talk together in the garden. It doesn't take long however for infidelity to mar this beautiful story and the remaining pages record the bridegrooms struggle to bring his bride home.

From time to time she returns home to the bridegroom, but most of the story is her wandering in the wilderness of Sin and her drifting from lover to lover. As the story unfolds, we see the heartbreak and sorrow experienced by the bridegroom, but one thing never changes throughout the story - he continues to pursue the woman he loves. He is with her in the wilderness, he longs for her while in captivity and he pleads for her return each and every day.

Finally, in an act of full and complete sacrifice the bridegroom surrenders his own life to rescue his bride. She has been decieved by the lies and treachery of a false lover. For six hours he hangs on a cross and as he looks out over the crowd he whispers a prayer of forgiveness on her behalf.

Like any great love story, this one too has a beautiful ending. In the closing pages we again see the bride, but this time she is adorned in white, pure and spotless. There is no uncleaness in her. After generations of battle and pursuit, the bridegroom takes her home to her mansion and yes, the live happily ever after.

The Golden Years

Ralph & Melba had been married for 53 years. One evening they were sitting on the porch when Melba leaned over and said, "Why don't you nibble on my ear like you used to?" Without a word Ralph got up and headed for the house. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Melba said. "You didn't hurt my feelings, I was just going to get my teeth."

I always liked that story. Somewhere in that netherland between our dreams and prayers there is the hope that we might be the ones sitting on that porch swing looking back over 53 years of marriage. We all know couples who are as much in love today as there were 30, 40 or 50 years ago. They move us and inspire us by their love, devotion and commitment.

For those who have suffered the loss of another through death or divorce it is easy to let that dream slip away. We become discouraged or lose hope that God is listening as we silently whisper in prayer, "Father, bless me with a mate who will still hold my hand in 30 years, sit on the porch and talk to me in 40, and pray at my beside when I am sickly and old 50 years from now."

Don't be discouraged! Trust God and lean on him. Remember the words of the Psalmist, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4).

Were there not ten?

In Luke 17, Jesus approaches a village when he meets ten lepers who stood afar off (17:12). They cried out to our Lord to have mercy on them. Jesus instructed them to go show themselves to the priests and once they obeyed they were cleansed.

Imagine the tremendous joy they must have felt. All of a sudden their entire lives where changed. No longer did they have to isolate themselves from social contact. They would never again have to walk through the streets crying, "unclean, unclean" as others approached. The dispair of waiting day by day as their bodies slowly withered away was a thing of the past.

What is more incredible is that only one of the ten turned back and glorified God. He fell down at the feet of Jesus and thanked Him. Even more amazing is the fact that the one who returned was a Samaritan.

I have often heard lessons from this passage emphasizing the importance of gratitude, but this morning another thought came to mind. I started thinking about all the people that Jesus helped and how few actually thanked him. He raised the dead, restored the lame, healed the sick, fed the hungry and ministered to the heartbroken - still through it all many took his good works for granted.

In this particular case Jesus recognized the fact that nine of the ten failed to return and glorify God, but in most cases Jesus simply went about doing good. In Acts 10:38 that is exactly what Peter says about our Lord, "God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him."

So, are you the kind of person who has to be thanked for everything you do? Do you think that the church should only help those who express gratitude, show penetence, or identify themselves with the local church? Our obligation is "to do good unto all men, especially those of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10). There are times I feel as Jesus did - "Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?" (Luke 17:17).

Lord, thank you for the one who returned and glorified God. Thank for setting an example of sacrificial service, even when it seems unappreciated. Thank you for reminding me that my duty to mankind is to sieze the opportunities to daily serve.