Honesty and compassion are two traits that work well together, but can actually be damaging when practiced in a vacuum. Let me give you an example. I have often been bruised and battered by the verbal onslaught of another only to have them excuse their behavior by saying, "I was only being honest."
I don't believe that honesty is a club that should be used to bludgeon our friends and acquaintances whenever it suits us. Compassion can also be a quality that is exercised without discretion. When we always bend over backwards for another person, or give them a pass when they do something wrong - we then become enablers. Grace and compassion were never intended to be the all encompassing umbrella that protects us from personal responsibility and acceptable social behavior.
Now take honesty and compassion and put them together and you have this wonderful marriage of two complementary qualities. Honesty will help us when we need to share unpleasant truths with those we love. Perhaps a friend who is in denial over something going on in their life, or a co-worker who needs to suck it up and get their work done. Compassion then tempers our approach to that person. We pause to consider the impact of our statements and how they can be delivered to bring the desired result while inflicting the least amount of pain.
If you are going to be honest with me, please temper your zeal with a little compassion. If you are feeling sorry for me, take the time to gently share with me the unpleasant truths I need to hear.
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