Tough Love

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about the God of second chances. It is comforting to know that God longs for the prodigals return and embraces the humble in His protective care. Sadly, there is a side to many who abuse God's grace and mercy. They anchor in His safe harbor when the storms of life are raging, but forget his goodness and mercy when the seas are calm and the sun fills the sky.

Jesus had to cope with these same people in his time. There were those who followed him only for the loaves and fishes and others who responded to His healing and restoration with an ungrateful heart. James refers to this individual as "a double minded man who is unstable in all his ways" or a man "who beholds his face in a mirror and then forgets what manner of man he is" (James 1:8; 23-24).

There have been times in my life that God has brought me to my knees as a reminder that He is Soveriegn and Lord, whether I acknowledge that or not. Those were always unpleasant and stressful times, but the result was a greater dependence upon God and a better understanding of his divine will in my life.

There are times I offer intercessory prayers on behalf of others, I typically ask God to heal them, bless them, or give them strength in difficult times. Rarely have I prayed, "Lord, bring them to their knees so they will know you are God and that your dominion is everlasting." Maybe I just need to ask God to heal them with a little tough love!

A Time to Laugh

Tonight I was reminded of what a blessing laughter is in our lives. Both the ability to laugh at ourselves and to share the gift of laughter with another. Here are some other's thoughts on laughter.

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people." Victor Borge

"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

"You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King

"And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." Kahlil Gibran

Someone once gave me some really sage advice. They told me that if you realize that you have done something foolish enough to laugh about later, then you might as well laugh about it now. Learn to find the humor in the embarrasments of the moment. Solomon was right, "A merry heart is good like medicine."

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

Morning Already?

So the alarm goes off at 5:00 am and the coffee hasn't started to brew. I glance that clock, slide over the side of the bed and mumble those words we all share in common, "Is it morning already?"

Each day is a little different, but I realize that how we face the day depends to a large degree on our attitude as we roll out of bed. Today, I am feeling just a little overwhelmed by all that needs to get done, so there is that underlying tension that comes from such a burden. On other days however, I wake before the alarm goes off eager and ready to start the day. It may be the result of a road trip I have scheduled, or a tennis match that I have been eagerly awaiting. The result is the same, because I look forward to those events, I can't wait for morning to arrive.

What a difference it would make if we simply woke up with a zeal and enthusiasm for each and every day. Imagine how our productivity might improve if we attacked each task with a fire in our belly and a desire to turn the mundane into an epic adventure.

So how do you plan to start your day? "Is it morning already", or "this is the day that he Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Friendship

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses, there is one which makes the heart run over."

Those words by James Boswell express well the growth and development of a friendship. I have always liked that quote because in some ways I believe we are all looking to have our vessel filled. Our lives are made richer when a friend fills it with kind words, tender thoughts, or selfless action.

Friendship is gift we give to ourselves. By surrounding ourselves with people who contribute to our lives we grow richer - not in a monetary way, but through a full and meaningful life.

There is however a catch to surrounding yourself with people who enrich your life. Solomon said, "A man that has friends must show himself friendly..." (Proverbs 18:24). If you want to enjoy the riches of friendship, then you must liberally invest in the lives of others.

Simple Pleasures

Last night I was talking with a friend and reminded about just how special the simple pleasures of life can be. I remember while preaching in a small town in Florida how much slower the pace of life was back then. On Monday mornings I would walk the 5 or 6 blocks to the local post office to get my mail. There was an older gentleman in the church who lived across the street from the post office so I would usually stop and have a cup of coffee with him.

The really significant achievements of my life are not commemorated on the walls of my office. The awards and achievements that cost so much of my time and energy don't compare with the rich rewards I have recieved in other areas. Sitting in the stands the night my son out dueled the #1 goalie in the region in double overtime, or rejoicing with my daughter through her amazing academic transformation this year hold a much more important place in my memory. Mission trips to Central America, helping a friend through a tough night, a picnic lunch on the banks of the Mississippi, or listening to the stories of an Octogenarian as he shares the memories of his youth - these are real pleasures in life.

The Battle Within

Most of us have heard the native American proverb about the old chief who tells his son that we all have two wolves inside us that are constantly doing battle. One is strong, noble and good, the other is wicked and evil. The son asks, "which wolf is the strongest?" and the old chief responds, "the one that you feed."

There is a lot of truth behind that old proverb. Paul recognized this in Romans 7:15-25 when he discusses the struggle between the spiritual and the carnal, between law and grace. In verse 15 he says, "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." In Paul's case he was struggling with turning loose of the law of Moses, but the principle is the same for each of us.

Satan attacks us where we are most vulnerable. It may be an addiction to drugs or alcohol, or our professional ethics in the workplace. When we look in the mirror we don't always see what we want to see. I wake up hoping to see the image of Christ, but always seem to fall a little short somewhere along the way.

For years I prayed that God would remove the struggles and conflict from my life. I was tired of being disappointed by others, but more importantly I was tired of disappointing myself. I am just starting to realize that God has tucked away hidden blessings in my struggles. What possible blessings could come from conflict, struggle and disappointment?

1. I am reminded of my dependence on God.
2. I am brought daily to my knees in prayer.
3. I am humbled by God's forgiveness and grace.
4. I am thankful for His sacrifice for my sin.
5. I look forward to a home with no sorrow or tears.

So what is the upside of all these challenges? After revealing to us his struggle Paul tells us, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1, 2).

A Love Story for the Ages

Like most men, I don't have much time for chick flicks. I don't get particularly excited when the Notebook or Beaches is airing opposite Monday Night Football. There is however one love story that captures my imagination every time I it hear it. It is the love story between God and man.

You see men can relate to a love story when it is filled with the pursuit of a beautiful woman or the intrigue of fighting for the woman we love. You may have missed it in a casual reading of the Bible, but it is a love story for the ages. It is filled with pursuit and passion, unfaithfulness and restoration.

The story begins with the bridegroom preparing a home for the bride. The garden in Genesis has everything the bride could imagine. On quiet evenings they would even walk and talk together in the garden. It doesn't take long however for infidelity to mar this beautiful story and the remaining pages record the bridegrooms struggle to bring his bride home.

From time to time she returns home to the bridegroom, but most of the story is her wandering in the wilderness of Sin and her drifting from lover to lover. As the story unfolds, we see the heartbreak and sorrow experienced by the bridegroom, but one thing never changes throughout the story - he continues to pursue the woman he loves. He is with her in the wilderness, he longs for her while in captivity and he pleads for her return each and every day.

Finally, in an act of full and complete sacrifice the bridegroom surrenders his own life to rescue his bride. She has been decieved by the lies and treachery of a false lover. For six hours he hangs on a cross and as he looks out over the crowd he whispers a prayer of forgiveness on her behalf.

Like any great love story, this one too has a beautiful ending. In the closing pages we again see the bride, but this time she is adorned in white, pure and spotless. There is no uncleaness in her. After generations of battle and pursuit, the bridegroom takes her home to her mansion and yes, the live happily ever after.

The Golden Years

Ralph & Melba had been married for 53 years. One evening they were sitting on the porch when Melba leaned over and said, "Why don't you nibble on my ear like you used to?" Without a word Ralph got up and headed for the house. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Melba said. "You didn't hurt my feelings, I was just going to get my teeth."

I always liked that story. Somewhere in that netherland between our dreams and prayers there is the hope that we might be the ones sitting on that porch swing looking back over 53 years of marriage. We all know couples who are as much in love today as there were 30, 40 or 50 years ago. They move us and inspire us by their love, devotion and commitment.

For those who have suffered the loss of another through death or divorce it is easy to let that dream slip away. We become discouraged or lose hope that God is listening as we silently whisper in prayer, "Father, bless me with a mate who will still hold my hand in 30 years, sit on the porch and talk to me in 40, and pray at my beside when I am sickly and old 50 years from now."

Don't be discouraged! Trust God and lean on him. Remember the words of the Psalmist, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4).

Meet me at the checkout.

It always makes me laugh when someone asks me dating advice. I guess that is the curse that comes with writing a book. People assume because you were gutsy enough to put something in print that you must be some kind of expert.

One of the ways I do research (and entertain myself at the same time) is to read the postings at Christian singles bulletin boards. It is tremendously insightful what people reveal about themselves on a public forum. One interesting discussion recently centered on how or where to meet people. I wrote in my book that it seems that some people are just waiting for FEDEX to overnight their life partner.

If you want to make friends, you have to create a social network. Online dating has become a multi-million dollar industry, but at some point in time you still have to make personal contact. I think there are two simple strategies for meeting other people with like values and interests. First, get involved in local activiites you enjoy, tennis, boating, chess club, or volunteer at a charity. Second, get over your shyness. Say hello to the woman in the produce section and ask her how she selects a good pineapple, or smile when you walk up to the teller at the bank and say, "You must be having a great day today - your face is just beaming."

I am not suggesting that you develop a set of smooth lines, just be friendly, sincere and open to making contact with people in your community. Most importantly, make sure you are attending church regularly. You have a better shot in church on Sunday, than you do at the local watering hole on Saturday night!!!

How can you be sure?

For the past few weeks I have been thinking about topics for an upcoming singles workshop in Gatlinburg. One of the questions I have heard from a number of single Christians is, "How can I be sure about the person I am dating?" Here are a few thoughts from experience (mine and others).

Does it feel right? Sometimes we tend to explain away certain personality quirks if we like someone. Nagging doubts, or little irritations tend to be magnified as a relationship advances. Yes, there will be things you have to work through in any relationship, but if, at the core they are character questions you need to think twice.

Can you talk about anything and everything? Good communication is a hallmark of a great relationship. There needs to be an openess and transparency between two people. Does the other person share their victories and failures with you, or do you get the sense that some topics are off limits? Chemistry is great, having fun together is important, but if you can't talk about the really important things in your heart and mind, you are heading for trouble.

Have you met their family and friends? The people we spend time with says a lot about our values and interests. If a persons surrounds themselves with people of godly character; if they are active in worthwhile causes like church and charities; it gives you a peek into their heart. If they sit around on Friday night with a six pack, or hang out at the local pub till 2:00 am., that probably tells you something too.

What does your gut (conscience) tell you? I have heard so many people say, "I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it." Of course it's great when you can say, "Wow, everything just feels right this time. Good experiences and bad have trained your conscience to be on guard - listen to it.

Finally, learn something from your past. Don't blame the other person, take a long look at yourself and ask, "What did I learn from past relationships?" I can't tell you how many people I have watched repeat the same mistakes. They will sit in my office and say, "I know that I date the wrong type of people, but that is what I am drawn too." If you want to change your results, then you need to change your behavior.

A Place of Vision

The wise man of old once wrote, "Where there is no vision, the people perish..." (Proverbs 29:18). That has always been a favorite verse of mine. I believe that God wants his people to have a vision, mission and purpose in the work that they do for Him.

It is great to be associated with a congregation that understands the importance of vision. At the Spring Meadows Church of Christ we believe that God has created a place of vision. A congregation that endeavors to serve the needs of our members and touch the lives of those living around us. Spring Hill, TN is a rapidly growing community (over 46% each year) and we know the fields are white unto harvest.

We are just beginning the great journey that God has set before our eyes. There is still so much we need to do. In the coming weeks and months we need the prayers, encouragement, support and even the financial help of our brothers and sisters all across the U.S. If you are looking for a place of vision to call home, come visit us at the Spring Meadows Church of Christ. There is more information if you click the link on the right of this page.

Is it the Dark Continent?

Africa was first called The Dark Continent by British missionaries. The term seemed to be a natural fit. The spiritual darkness could be seen in all the forms of their tribal religions. The Sacrificing to idols, pouring out libations to the spirits of ancestors and engaging in pagan rituals not previously seen by the “civilized” Christian community left these travelers with little doubt concerning the spiritual darkness they had encountered.

As we traveled through Nigeria we too experienced the Dark Continent. Not the spiritual darkness experienced by our forefathers, but the blackness of the African night. Electricity is a luxury that may be experienced for a couple of hours on a good day. When the lights go out at night there is a darkness that drapes your body like a cold, damp robe.

It is amazing the impact a small light can have in the darkest night. Each evening a few dozen light bulbs where illuminated over the chapel at Nigerian Christian Bible College. In an area that might seat 2,000 people if you pack them in tightly, we saw nearly 4,000 crammed under the tents and scattered all around the chapel area. While we begin to tire after an hour of worship, these dedicated servants of God would seat all day and all evening listening to the gospel be preached.

I am convinced you will never see a more stark contrast of the light and darkness better than we did during those three nights in Ukpom Abak. While generators provided light to a darkened chapel, the light of the gospel shined more brightly than the sun on the African plains. At the conclusion of services the first evening our hearts were filled with joy as people pushed their way through the crowds just to confess the precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ. By the end of the third evening over 160 people named the name of Jesus. Together hundreds of our brothers and sisters accompanied them down dangerous roads, through the black African night so they could be baptized for the remission of their sins.

We still refer to Africa as The Dark Continent, but nothing could be further from the truth. For over five decades the churches in Nigeria have grown at an amazing rate, doubling every decade. Today there are over 4,000 churches of Christ meeting in Nigeria and thousands more throughout the continent. The light of the gospel is shining brightly over Africa because of the men and women who support training preachers of the gospel and participate in the fellowship of this great work. We pray you will continue to support bringing the light of Christ to a people eager to escape the darkness.

For more information about the work at African Christian Schools Foundation, see the link on the right side of my page.

Wildflowers

Last fall I was hiking through East Tennessee and was amazed by the beauty and splendor of God's creation. Autumn would soon turn to winter, the leaves would be scattered and the vibrant reds, oranges and yellows would turn to brown and gray. While hiking around Indian Mound Lake a few wildflowers remained, peeking through the undergrowth painting the palette of the earth with the remnant of summer.

Earlier this evening I was on my way to teach a Bible class at the local coffeeshop. The mood was subdued, and the usual warmth and laughter seemed cloaked in clouds of concern; but just as the first freeze of winter couldn't extinguish the wildflowers pressing through the earth, a few wildflowers were planted along my path today.

In the moments before our study began a friend shared some kind words that were spoken on my behalf. It is always humbling, yet gratifying to hear the encouraging words of others. The last few weeks have been busy and full (rushed and stressful at times), but God allowed a few wildflowers to spring up along the way.

I am not sure who coined the phrase, "stop and smell the roses," but it's worth repeating. In the last few minutes before class I sat sipping my coffee, thankful that God brings friends into our lives to sow seeds of encouragement, so wildflowers can bloom in the winters of our discontent.